1. Who you are now is not who you will be in 10 years. It is okay to be somebody new 10 minutes from now. We are always learning. We are always growing. If you realized 10 seconds ago that you don’t like who you are, shed your skin, retry, replant yourself in good soil.
2. Cleaning is instant therapy. When your brain is muddy, take a shower, wash your hands, change your clothes. Spend 15 minutes straightening your living room. When you are angry, scrub things. I know it’s crazy but it works instantly.
3. Forgive someone’s debt if it’s under 50 dollars, forgive the small things, give a little time to yourself and forgive the big things too. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about you. That being said - if someone ever hurts you in a way that would make me cry to know, you get out of there, my love. You just get up and go.
4. Gum karma is real and if you spit out a piece in public expect to find some on your shoe in the future. Same goes for insults and harsh judgement, too.
5. Do what you love and the money will follow.
6. Live your life with an open palm and give as much as you can and as often. At some point in your life, someone will lend you 50 bucks when you’re down on your luck. Remember how that feels. Remember to give that back.
7. Always wear clean underwear. You’ll thank me later.
8. There is a difference between being kind and being passive and there are those who cannot see that difference. They will try to walk all over you. Never bend your knees for those who do.
9. Have faith. Have faith in god or people or yourself or science or in luck or in all of the above. Faith is what keeps us going, faith is what keeps us strong.
10. Pay your bills on time whenever you can, although money is nothing. Remind yourself that.
11. Do not forget you were once ignorant of all you know now. Be patient of anyone who hasn’t had the education you have. Speak at the level of the person you are with - it’s not playing dumb, it’s being considerate. There’s no reason to make them feel uncomfortable. Plus then when someone starts going off about their superior IQ, you can cut them to pieces and watch their face when you do.
12. You are the best person in the room for one particular thing, and that’s confidence. You are the worst person in the room for another thing, and that’s humility. Use both carefully.
13. Never make fun of someone’s beliefs or superstitions, let your kid keep their imaginary friend and let your best buddy believe in knocking on wood. We all have security blankets. Don’t take away someone else’s.
14. Try to learn something new every day.
15. The worse you look, the more likely you are to run into someone you know so instead of feeling awkward, learn to be confident in sweats while talking to your friends.
16. Never go to bed angry, it will ruin your sleep and make tomorrow even harder. Find a way to relax. Don’t let today get to your head.
17. Think before you speak. When someone says something, mull over their words before answering. This is called listening, it is different than hearing.
18. What keeps love beautiful is that there’s risk involved. If he breaks your heart and it doesn’t hurt, it wasn’t love in the first place.
19. Never let someone else determine who you are or how happy. You are too strong to be torn apart.
20. I love you, even when we are fighting, even when I am fast asleep. Don’t doubt it for an instant. You are my everything.”
before we fall in love
there are some things i must tell you before we fall in love,
some truths i must tear out from the confines of my chest-
and you may not want to hear them all,
but if we are to share body, to share space and heart. if we are to find solace in each others flesh, seek home in the warmth and intimacy of human touch, then you must listen, and you must listen well.
1- now i am not a good person.
not always. i do not do the right thing,
and often, i am wrong.
but i am not afraid to say when i have wronged,
nor admit to making a mistake.
2- but i do not like to apologize, i do not like it all,
i do everything to avoid it. hugs and kisses and gifts.
never words of appeasement, never sullen syllables.
i expect forgiveness without requesting.
3- and i am stubborn.
i am unmabeable,
deaf, dumb and blind.
4- but i am kind.
and i dream of welcoming others into my home.
children my womb will not have carried-
and they will not look like any kids we might have,
and they may not think of us as parents,
but you must love them just as much,
or even more.
5- i am not much of a lady.
never one for heels and hairdressers,
more flats and morning mess,
but i am real.
6- and really,
i do not believe i will be much good at loving,
nor any better at being loved.
7- because i am always afraid,
but feel as though i must appear brave;
for everyone else,
a straight poker face,
and you will have to learn how to read me.
8- i do not deal well with absence,
it does not make me grow any fonder,
a slept in bed never stays warm long.
absence is a storm
i am still unable to navigate.
9- and i am jealous. possessive.
i do not like to share the ones i love.
10- i will always need time and space each day.
alone. to read, to think, to balance.
i hope i haven’t scared you away.